When I was about six years old, I was taught by my parents and society that relationships were meant to be monogamous between a man and a woman. However, as I grew older I learned that girls could love girls, guys could love guys, and that everyone isn’t actually faithful to their significant other. I remember going to my mother and she explained to me, in the most PG way possible, the definitions of homosexuality and bisexuality. She even told me about the different reasons as to why people cheat on their significant others. Those reasons could be classified as the three D’s: drifting, dysfunction, and desire.
Drifting happens when a couple doesn’t find themselves bonding or having anything in common anymore. Dysfunction usually happens when relationships aren’t healthy emotionally, physically, or mentally. That kind of anxiety and stress can really drive a couple insane. Desire is the most common cause of the relationship ending.
With this information, I began to challenge the structure of monogamy by finding out more about polyamory because it was clear that monogamy didn’t work for every individual’s well-being.
A popular YouTube channel, ASAP Science, did a video in October of 2015 about “The Science of Cheating,” which clearly states that only about 3% of mammals are actually monogamous. We know what that means: 97% of mammals, including human beings, are biologically polyamorous. ASAP Science explains that the specific gene coding for dopamine receptors play a key role in cheating for both men and women. It is proposed that 50% of people have a long allele which causes them to cheat, compared to 22% of people who have a short allele and remain monogamous.
So by now you’re probably wondering, what is polyamory? Polyamory is defined as “the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships involving more than two people, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.” Check out some of the articles we found online that support the polyamorous lifestyle along with love life experience.
The first article we found, “Monogamy VS. Polyamory – Are Humans Built To Love One Or Many?,” is written by Dr. Karen Ruskin, who is a marriage counselor, parenting strategist, and human behavior expert. She discusses the differences between polyamory and monogamy and how it has an impact on the way a couple interacts and grows together.
Another article from Live Science, “New Sexual Revolution: Polyamory May Be Good for You,” states that being polyamorous has benefits: it prevents emotional stress, jealousy, and as long as safe sex is practiced it can be helpful to maintaining a happy and healthy partnership.
After evaluating the information in both articles and the lifestyle of polyamory, I hope you all have come to the same conclusion as I did. No matter what or who you choose, just choose to be happy. Everyone is different and has their own way of loving and caring for others. Whether you are more of a one-on-one, exclusively monogamous person, or more of a free-spirited polyamorous person, just do your thing. Communication is key to any relationship, regardless of its type, so continue to strive for peace, love, and happiness.